Church Police

Originally posted September 12, 2007
“Once there was a band called The Maroons which tried to be the stupidest band ever. It consisted of: Bruce – organ, Dave – guitar, Tim – drums, and some other people. Some of the band got mad at Dave for getting so wasted at a big gig that he couldn't play. Bruce ended up kicking him out of the band. After that everyone slowly but surely quit the band until there were no more maroons. Then Tim & Dave decided to form the loudest, most depressing band ever. Tim wanted to sing and Dave continued to play guitar then they got Eric to play drums. They needed a bass player so Bruce joined and thus formed the Church Police. They played countless nigths at The Sound of music for no money but they didn't care too much. It was fun and worthwile. They opened for Flipper at the Throbbing Gristle show last march. And it was ‘a real scream’. Subterranean Records keeps saying that the show will be released on a live record. They even have it in their catalog but nobody has seen it yet.” Cometbus

Church Police (clockwise from top left): Tim (vocals), Dave (guitar), Bruce (bass), Eric (drums). Dave Blakeslee

“The Church Police were one of the earliest underground punk bands to emerge from suburbia. The band performed their first live gig at the Sound of Music, a cheap, sleazy and accessible club in San Francisco's Tenderloin district, in the fall of 1980. An amateur studio recording was made around that same time at Diablo Valley College, in which the band's guitars were plugged directly into the sound board because live electrical performances would have been too loud and disruptive to the nearby classes. Only the drums were mic'ed. A cassette recording of this session began circulating through the San Francisco scene, gaining particular favor with two bands who had identified themselves as ‘pet rock’ bands: Animal Things and Flipper. The Church Police, mainly through Bruce's persistence, were able to land weeknight gigs at the Sound of Music with some regularity. One particularly memorable show occurred when Bruce Loose, lead singer of Flipper, made his enthusiastic appreciation of the band highly visible by dancing wildly in front of the stage as they performed. This convinced many trendies in the audience to consider the Church Police ‘cool.’ Even though their musical abilities were lacking, they had a unique stage presence and represented something fresh and unpredictable within the local punk community.” Dave Blakeslee

Church Police poster

“Unfortunately, along with their lack of humor comes a lack of originality, which negates taking any of their copycat antics seriously. The Church Police play and everyone stares woodenly. What is this shit, man? We thought this was gonna be a punk rock show. To put it lightly, the Church Police are not your garden variety thrash band. Not knowing what to do with this strange emanation, the crowd takes the easy way out and snarls its hate. They spit, yell, make gestures, throw things, hit – you know, your typical Type A look-in-your-punk-textbook-do-I-look-mean-enough bullshit. The band reacts in an exemplary manner and just goes about their business. After all, they were asked to play, no one asked the crowd to come and make trouble. And 'twas surely a loutish crew. I mean, ready to kill. They really loved the band (even if they wouldn't see it that way) simply because they hated them so much. Finally the Church Police were pulled off stage, which was wise. I would like to see them play again. Their steadfast behavior at this show again proves the motto: Church Police is God. Church Police is Disco.” Eric Bradner

Church Police – The Oven Is My Friend


Church Police – Life Is Fun
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